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the Bible from hell


I did just that, once... someone brought in a 5" thick giant, 18 lb. Bible
... 1/4 of which was in a bag... crumbling pages, torn and ragged singles,
water damage.. the whole 9 yards. I took one look at it and thought, "Jeez,
I don't want to repair this mess." Then I quoted a price to the lady that I
just KNEW she wouldn't want to pay, and she looked up at me and sweetly
smiled and said, "Well, that's just fine, dear. When will it be ready?"
*grrrrrrr*   then greed took over and I did the book.

It took two weeks for my assistant to separate the little pieces and loose
pages into collated stacks all over the studio. Around here it was known as
the Bible from hell. I finally had to box it and deliver it. She was
delighted and paid right up.

I don't do Bibles any more. I don't know what it is about Bibles and
dictionaries. People seem to be alsays eating something while they're
looking stuff up. I had to brush out the gutter of all 860 pages of that
damn thing!  Never again.


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