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> Stupid Questions
>
>>These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
>>Q: What is your date of birth?
>>A: July fifteenth.
>>Q: What year?
>>A: Every year.
>>
>>Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>>A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>>
>>Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
>>A: Yes.
>>Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>>A: I forget.
>>Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
>>forgotten?
>>
>>Q: And where was the location of the accident?
>>A: Approximately milepost 499.
>>Q: And where is milepost 499?
>>A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
>>
>>Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
>>A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
>>
>>Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
>>A: After the accident?
>>Q: Before the accident.
>>A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
>>
>>Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo
>>or occult?
>>A: We both do.
>>Q: Voodoo?
>>A: We do.
>>Q: You do?
>>A: Yes, voodoo.
>>
>>>>> >Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers
>>journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by
>>attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by
>>insightful witnesses:
>>
>>Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
>>doesnt know about it until the next morning?
>>
>>Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
>>
>>Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>>
>>Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
>>
>>Q: Did he kill you?
>>
>>Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
>>
>>Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
>>
>>Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
>>
>>Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>>A: Yes.
>>Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>>
>>Q: She had three children, right?
>>A: Yes.
>>Q: How many were boys?
>>A: None.
>>Q: Were there any girls?
>>
>>Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
>>A: Yes.
>>Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
>>
>>Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
>>A: I went to Europe, Sir.
>>Q: And you took your new wife?
>>
>>Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
>>A: By death.
>>Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>>
>>Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
>>which I sent to your attorney?
>>A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>>
>>Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>>A: All my autopsies were performed on dead people.
>>
>>Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>>A: Oral.
>>
>>Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>>A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>>Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
>>A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
>>autopsy.
>>
>>Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>>
>>Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
>>A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.
>>
>>Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
>>A: No.
>>Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
>>A: No.
>>Q: Did you check for breathing?
>>A: No.
>>Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
>>the autopsy?
>>A: No.
>>Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>>A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>>Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
>>A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
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