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[BKARTS] "What if they don't like it?" --Bill Clinton's blog diary

"What if they don't like it?"



Monday, June 21, 2004


I don't know. I don't know. The day began wonderfully. Hillary had to go
to Washington. She kissed me goodbye. I mean really kissed me goodbye.
Not the obligatory peck on the cheek I had become accustomed to. Our
relationship has gone to a deeper level of intimacy these past few days.

Chelsea called yesterday. Curly had called her up in tears. He told her
he was afraid their relationship was about to go bust and he wanted to
talk things out. After Hillary left I received a fax from my publisher.
The fax contained the NY Times review of my book. The critic hated my
book. He said it was all over the place, too indulgent, too dull. I felt
like a sledge hammer hit me in the stomach.

I know it's just one critic, but I have worked so hard on my book. So
hard and to see my work slaughtered like this brings me to the brink of
crying. He's just one person. He's just like those Republicans who were
trying to prosecute me after the affair. I'm used to it. I shouldn't get
this emotional. But I do. I got a headache. I went back to bed, pulled
the blanket over my head and tried to sleep. It took 3 sleeping pills.

I really, really hope Americans like my book when they get the chance to
read it tomorrow. I really hope they like it. What if they don't like
it? What have I left if Americans abandon me. I wish Hillary was here
right now. I need two arms around me to comfort me. I'm alone. Again.
Must I always be alone? Always?

JULES SIEGEL Apdo. 1764 77501-Cancun Q. Roo Mexico

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